We are in a relationship to fulfil the needs of our partner – not our own. Do you ever think of that? If your partner concentrates on your needs and you concentrate on his/her needs, then everybody should be happy. Makes sense, doesn’t it!
However, much of the time we are in a “me, me me” frame of mind, focussing on what we need, want or long for. Try switching this around and take some time to grasp what your partner feels and experiences when interacting with you. Be kind and engage in behaviour that meets their wants and desires. In fact, do you even know what your partner wants or desires? Take the time to communicate and find out.
Listen; truly listen – with your ears, eyes and heart. See that your partner feels heard and that what concerns him/her really concerns you. We live in distracting times with a lot of sensory overload, so when listening, we need to tune out any distractions.
When your partner says that are not feeling well – how do you react? Do you say “Oh, no, not again – or do you show some care and concern? Little acts of kindness can go a long way. Just giving your partner a hug – or bringing them a cup of tea -can change the dynamic of your day and theirs too. Try a little tenderness.
Don’t play tit for tat! You do not have to win every argument. Sometimes it is okay to say “it is more important for me to stay close to you and it is to win the argument. If you start feeling angry, take hold of yourself and calm down. Next week, you may not even remember what the argument was about.
Above all, treat your partner as you would like to be treated – and if you are unsure of how they would like to be treated – ask them!
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